I'm 27 but I feel 20.

Why is that? I feel as though I was 20 just yesterday. How the human mind tricks us so. We wake up and go about our day without ever truly thinking about our own mortality. We see our parents steadily growing older and the seasons flashing by whilst never really realizing that we’re getting older too. After I took an eye-opening class in college, I attempted to put more meaning into my life by relishing in the moment. No matter how big or small, great or horrendous; I try to learn from every experience and grow from each curve ball that life throws my way.

This exceptional religious studies class was called Death.

Investigates the psychological aspects of facing death and dealing with dying persons; cross-cultural religious and philosophical interpretations of death (as new life, resurrection, rebirth, etc.); and medical, ethical, and legal issues such as physician-assisted suicide and euthanasia.

During my entire 4 years, this class was only given once and I am grateful to have taken it. This completely blew my mind. I never knew of such topics. I never thought of my parents as actual people. They are just my mom and my dad. But before being my parents, they are a woman and a man. My mom was young just as I was. She had dreams, aspirations, disappointments, successes, and failures just as I have. It’s just that… before this class, I never connected the dots. I don’t know why but it makes me tear up just thinking this way. Perhaps that’s why we, as people never try to think of our own mortality. Because it’s scary. Because it’s the unknown. Is it a morbid thought? I don’t think so. But many don’t wish to speak of such inappropriate issues.

By the way, I wrote this on my 27th birthday this past year. If you can tell, I don't really care much for my birthday. The last time I had a birthday party with friends was when I turned 21. And even then, I didn't want it. I don't understand what the huge hoo-ha's about. Especially those who think they're Paris Hilton and can celebrate all week long. Blows my mind. You're not that fucking special.

Engagement<3

11 more days... happy trails!

Movies I hated so far in 2012

Ice Age 4: Horrible horrible horrible. I wanted to walk out the first 20 minutes. They should stop making sequels. Getting worse with each one.

Snow White and the Huntsman: Too much hype for the movie. Expectations were too high. Unnecessary scenes. Who cares if a dwarf dies? We don't need to see its' funeral. Charlize Theron was awesome though. Her acting is superb just as it was in Young Adult.

Man on a Ledge: Acting sucked and ending was obvious. Wanted to walk out in the middle of it.

Chronicle: Kids find an alien ship and somehow gain super powers. Struggle between good & bad. Weird ass stupid movie.

Safe House: Ryan Reynolds cannot act. He plays the same character in every movie: HIMSELF. I don't even find him attractive. Just long in the face.

Gone: Same thing as Ryan Reynolds - Amanda Seyfried cannot act. How does she keep getting roles?! I guess you can't blame this one all on her - the script was horrible. Like the whole time, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Blue balls, yo. Blue fuckin balls.

Tit for tat

“Oh, I remember…Listen, don’t hate me because I can’t remember some person immediately. Especially when they look like everybody else, and talk and dress and act like everybody else… Everything everybody does is so – I don’t know – not wrong, or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But just so tiny and meaningless and sad… All those egos running around feeling terribly charitable and warm. Kissing everybody and wearing their makeup all over the place, and then trying to be horribly natural and friendly… I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.”
- J.D. Salinger: Franny and Zooey

I first read this book in the 10th grade. I bought my own copy of it 2 years ago and this quote has never left me. Why? Because I see this nonsense everywhere. In the media and amongst my friends. Hell, I've been guilty of being fake and phony at times. This excerpt humbles and beguiles me to be better. Wait. Cross that out. Not better. To be more selfish. To ask for what I want and not feel sheepishly guilty about it. To shout across every pitter-patter of bullshit in the room and not feel an ounce of embarrassment. I do that when I'm drunk. I should do that sober.

I am an introvert. No surprise there.

"Many introverts feel there’s something wrong with them, and try to pass as extroverts. But whenever you try to pass as something you’re not, you lose a part of yourself along the way. You especially lose a sense of how to spend your time. Introverts are constantly going to parties and such when they’d really prefer to be home reading, studying, inventing, meditating, designing, thinking, cooking…or any number of other quiet and worthwhile activities.

According to the latest research, one third to one half of us are introverts – that’s one out of every two or three people you know. But you’d never guess that, right? That’s because introverts learn from an early age to act like pretend-extroverts."

The Power of Introvert by Gareth Cook

Sums me up. I actually came to this conclusion on my own last year but a good affirmation nonetheless.